Last night after my sister and I went shopping we came back to my house. Dave had already put the kids to bed so Steph, Dave, and I were able to talk. Somehow Steph started telling us about the Penile Enlargement surgery that one of her classmates did this week. One thing led to another and we ended up talking about Boners.
Dave told us how up until a few years ago his mom, bless her heart, thought that a human penis had a bone in it like animals do. Of course we all thought this was hysterical. Then Steph brought up a story that I hadn't heard or thought about in years.
When she was in third grade and I was in sixth grade I would come home from school and go straight to my room to call my best friend Amber. We would talk for a couple of hours while we did our homework together. It annoyed the crap out of Steph that I would be on the phone for so long so she usually would pick up one of the other phones in the house and listen to us.
On afternoon when Steph was listening to our conversation Amber and I were talking about this one boy in our last class for the day. See everyday for a week he would get a boner in class. This class was in the auditorium of the school and he sat down in front while Amber and I sat in the back and we could see him and the boner perfectly from our seats. Later that evening Steph came up to me and asked me what a boner was? I knew immediately that she had been listening to my conversation earlier and I was really mad at her for it. So instead of being the cool, awesome, older sister I was the mean, evil older sister and I told her that a boner was when a guy put a bone in his pants and made it stick out.
Steph and I didn't talk about this anymore until three years later when Steph was in sixth grade. One day at school some of her friends were talking about boners and one of them asked what that was. Steph, thinking she was SOOOOO cool for knowing what it was, said;
"oh my sister told me that it's when a guy takes a bone and puts it in his pants making it stick up."
Unfortunately for Steph there was a guy sitting near by and when he heard what Steph's definition he started cracking up. Once he was able to stop laughing he told all the girls what it really was. This left Steph feeling very embarrassed and MAAAAD at me!!!
That afternoon Steph came flying through the door screaming at me, which at the time wasn't that uncommon. I eventually was able to understand what she was saying and I couldn't control myself. I laughed so hard I couldn't breath and tears were rolling down my face. I had of course forgot all about the lie I told her but she never did.
So the moral of this story is;
Never ease drop on your older sister's phone conversation.
OR
Never trust your older sister to explain the birds and the bees.
I'm not really sure which one is better but if Steph had followed either one of those she never would have gone through that embarrassing moment in school.
