Birthday

Birthdays in my family have always been a big deal. Even as an adult my family treats your birthday like a second Christmas for you. I've always loved celebrating my birthday until this year.

Next Tuesday I will turn 29 and for the first time in my life I have been dreading this birthday. For the last few weeks I have had these uneasy feeling anytime someones mentions my birthday but I didn't know why. I did know it had nothing to do with the age like some people might think. Getting older isn't something that has every bothered me. In fact I like it because I know there are so many great things that come with getting older.

Last night Dave and I were watching Deadliest Catch which is one of a few shows we actually watch together. If any of you are fans of this show then you know the last few episodes have been documenting the last few days of Captain Phil Harris life. Captain Phil suffered a stroke while they were filming this season of the show. At the end of last nights episode Captain Phil passed away. Anytime there is a story about a father passing away I tend to get emotional because it always reminds me of my death. During one of the commercial breaks I was thinking about my dad and his age at the time of his death popped into my head. He was 29 years old at the time of his death and it was at that moment that I pieced everything together.

I'm not sure why but I am pretty sure that my uneasiness about my 29th birthday has something to do with the fact that my dad was 29 when he passed away. I don't know exactly why this is bothering me because I am healthy and he wasn't for years before he turned 29. I think it may just be fear and fear isn't always rational. I just know that I don't want to turn 29 and would prefer to go straight to 30.

So for my birthday this year I will keep myself as busy as possible. Dave and I are taking next week off and on Monday we are taking the kids to Kings Island. We decided to stay at a hotel that night and then go to the Newport Aquarium on Tuesday (my birthday). At some point either this weekend or one night later in the week I will have to have my family birthday dinner but I'm hoping not doing it on my birthday will make it all easier for me. I am also hoping that once my birthday is over this uneasy feeling I have will disappear. I guess only time will tell.