Thursday, July 31, 2008

Biological Father: Chapter 2

Once I decided to tell my story I was going to post a new chapter each week giving myself time to write the different chapters. However, once I started writing the words have flowed out of my head, down my arms to my finger tips and I can't seem to stop them. So I am going to go ahead and post the next Chapter. If you haven't read the first one I really recommend you reading it before this one so that my story will make sense to you. I have kept the Chapters fairly short so that it wont take much of your time to catch up.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

In September of 2002, about a month after my wedding, and three months after my realization I was sitting in my mother’s living room with her and my sister when my mom asked me if I thought she could have a diamond taken out of a ring. I had just recently found a new job as an Office Manager for a Jewelry Store. I told her it would depend on the rings so she went and got them. There was an engagement ring and two diamond wedding band none of which Steph or I had ever seen. We both asked mom what they were and she told us that in college she was engaged to a guy the engagement ring he bought her came as a three piece set.

A few hours later Steph and I went to get all of us some lunch and I told her how I thought I was adopted and gave her all the reasons why plus this new twist of mom being engaged to a guy in college which would have been shortly before I was born. Steph instantly agreed that there was a huge possibility I was adopted but she had no ideas of how I could find out for sure. The only suggestion she had was to ask our Aunt Pat (mom’s sister) but I wasn’t sure how to do that so again I just sat with this information running circles in my head.

Then one night in December of 2006, four years later, I got a call from my sister. The first thing she said to me was “Are you sitting down?” This is not something you ever want to hear from someone because it’s universal for I have something to tell you and it’s not good. I went into my bedroom and closed the door and that’s when Steph tells me that she had just left moms and they had a very interesting conversation. Somehow they had gotten on the topic of mother’s not telling their children who their father was and my sister was saying how she didn’t think it was right to keep that kind of information from people once they are older. My mom however disagreed with her and said that sometimes these moms might have good reasons to never tell their children.

This all lead to my mom telling my sister that the guy she said she was engaged to she was really married to when she was 19. We had even seen pictures of our Aunt and cousin who were the Maid of Honor and Ring Bearer. Of course Steph had a million questions for her but she tried to just let my mom talk. My mom told her that this guy’s name was Mike and he was a pig farmer. She also said that he was emotionally abusive to her so when he moved because of a new job she stayed behind to finish packing but instead of going to him she moved back home and filed for divorce. She also told Steph that she was married for about a year and half.
At this point I am doing the math in my head. She got married at 19 and was married for a year and a half; I was born when she was 21. Yet one more thing that fits with the “I’m adopted” story and now I had a first name and a time frame. I still wasn’t brave enough to ask my Mom because at that time she was going through so very personal hard things and it wouldn’t have been right to throw this at her to.

So there was more waiting and more thinking.


Tiffany McCallen said...

I had forgotten about the rings and the pictures...

I realize we all have our reasons for sharing or not sharing our deep, dark secrets. But this is one occasion where I wish your mom would have sat you down and told you everything—even the ugly parts.

Goodness knows you're a tough gal. You can handle the truth! :)

Mom to 3 Monkeys said...

Wow! Its kinda crazy she shared tidbits with so many but NOT with you. Like she wanted to admit it but not hurt you. Oh and I forgot to say that I totally made my own cathedral veil too and glued on all the pearls. The agony!! LOL! I was picturing myself sitting on the floor with my bottle of glue and pearls and trying to make sure they were even and pretty soon you don't even know if they really are anymore because you stared at it so long. The things we do!

JWilson said...

MT3M: Why do we put ourselves through so much trouble for such simple things. Thankfully I did pick a bead design where they beads did not have to be in straightlines. I started at the top where it was closest to may hair and glued the beads right next to each other and as I went farther down the veil they got farther apart from each other. It looked amazing in my church during my candlelite ceremony. All those thousands of ebads twinkling in the light. :))

Insane Mama said...

Writing this down is the best therapy for you. and eyepopping out reading for us :)

Candid Carrie said...

Not to jump the gun, but your birth mother is your current mother right? It is the current dad that is the adoptive parent, right? Sorry.

JWilson said...

Carrie: Yes Carrie my birth mother is the only mother I ahve ever had and the man I call my dad is really my adoptive father. Sorry if that isn't clear yet.

Candid Carrie said...

Oh, it is clear I just get senior moments I guess.