Tuesday, June 17, 2008

My Pork Issues

So Candid Carrie has a very good post today about her fear of pork and how she has somewhat overcome that fear. Now I don't have a fear of pork at all but her post reminded me of a story involving some pork from my childhood and I thought I would share it with you.

First I should tell you that I love ham, bacon, and sausage. I could eat one of those items every day but that would probably give me a heart attack by age 30 and we just can't have that. Now I do not in any way like any other meat that comes from a pig especially pork chops. I'm not sure where my hatred of pork chops started all I know is that as long as I can remember I haven't liked them.

As a child my mother knew I did not like them so she didn't make them very often but when she did she always tried to get me to try them again. I think she thought that if I kept trying them I would eventually like them but that didn't happen.

My tenth birthday was set to be an absolutely big birthday. I knew I was getting the second hole in my ears pierced and a brand new 10 speed bike and those were just the presents I knew about. Of course knowing I was getting them made it so much harder to wait for them. The Saturday before my birthday my mom went and let me pick out the bike I wanted and she bought it then but I was not allowed to ride it until my birthday which was complete torcher for a 10 year old. I really wanted to have a present I could use, since I knew I was getting my ears pierced I started bugging my mom to take me that day to have it done. Looking back now I am sure she wanted to tape my mouth shut after the 5th time I asked her that day and by the 300th time she probably wanted to kick me out of the house.

Since I didn't wear her down by bed time Saturday night I decided that I was not going to let it go and the minute I got up Sunday morning I began begging again. I begged all the way to church and all the way home. I had become so desperate that I was starting to say things like " If you take me today I will clean my room every day for a year" or "If you take me today I will unload the dishwasher for a week and clean my room every day for a year." About every 5 minutes while mom was cooking lunch I came into the kitchen with a new one and it continued through lunch which happen to be pork chops, potatoes, and peas.

Finally when everyone was almost done with their lunch my mom turned to me and said "If you eat all of your pork chop then I will take you to get your ears pierced today". I couldn't believe it she had finally given in, but I had to eat that nasty piece of meat, how in the heck was I going to eat this thing. Before I started I made sure she was serious and even had a witness so she couldn't back out of her promise. I was not about to eat the most disgusting thing ever for her to not follow through.

After a few minutes of giving myself a pep talk I took my first bite. Oh it was so gross and I almost gagged but I just kept telling myself I could do it, I could do it, I could do it. Each bite became harder and harder to keep down. Somehow I managed to eat every piece of my pork chop and I even called my mom in to see my plate. As soon as she walked in and saw it I took off running to the bathroom. I had eaten every piece and every piece was working it's way back up, there was no way that crap was going to stay in my system. So you all know NO I did not get sick on purpose I have this weird thing that if I don't like the way food taste and eat it anyway I get sick.

When I was finished getting sick and came back into the kitchen I asked my mom when we were leaving for the mall and she said we're not. What, why not I asked? You didn't keep up your end of the bargain. Oh no I said, I ate the pork chop just like you said. Then my mom says to me that no you didn't you threw it up so you didn't really eat it. Now at the young age of 10 I came back with, are you ready???

"You said I had to eat it, which I did, not that I had to keep it down"

Oh yeah, I got her there. I think the look on her face then was better than the look when she came into the kitchen to see my clean plate, it was awesome. Within a few minutes my mom had Steph and Nick cleaned up and ready to go and I got my ears pierced two days before my birthday and all I had to do was eat that piece of pork.

A few years ago my sister and I were talking about this story at a family function and my mom over heard us and she told me that she really truly didn't think I would ever eat that pork chop which is why she threw that out there. She was completely shocked when I ate and it then she felt horrible when I got sick, and lastly she was stunned when I gave her the keep it down line.

To this day I still do not like pork chops and I refuse to even try them, I think this experience ruined it for me for my whole life.


Candid Carrie said...

I am so flattered that my posts bring you such tremendously vivid flashbacks. I don't know why pork chops always have to be served with mashed potatoes and peas!

After your witty comeback, it was awesome to see that your mother was a woman of integrity and kept her word to get your ears pierced.

LaDeana said...

Hey Jess. I hate pork chops. I only fix them because Frog loves them. I will gag one or a half of one down if I must. About my reading post, I love Sophia Kinsella. The Shopoholic series is my all time fav books. I am taking down some notes and will let you know about the latest book I am reading called Twilight. It is a very popular new series that is going to be a movie. I am in a book club too. Have you ever read A thousand Splendid Suns or Kite Runner?

Anonymous said...

Pork is unhealthy. Nobody should eat it.

Blarney said...

I think it's all in the cooking. I am not saying your Mom isn't/wasn't a good cook but she was probably cooking it the way she was taught etc. etc. I have found many foods I hated aren't as bad when you find the right receipe. Liver is the exception though ... that is still disgusting no matter what you try!

JWilson said...


I can tell you that most of my issues with the pork chops was my moms cooking. Shortly after I was bron she had to cahnge how she cooked everything because of my dad's cancer so food had not flavor to it at all.

Apple Joos said...

Oh my gosh! Good for you, though, on calling her out about it.

Just The Girl said...

I am so with you on this - I love bacon, ham, and sausage but hate pork chops - really wierd.

I also hate raisins but love grapes nad wine...go figure.

Lindsay said...

I love me some pork, too, but I'm with you: pork chops are gag-tastic. I've tried them many a different way, but it's like trying to chew on meat-flavored rubber.

You were quite the witty (and brave) 10-year-old. My mom would have jack-slapped me if I had come back with that!

Lindsay said...

I guess I'm the weird one. I love pork chops, but just the boneless ones. I guess they have to be cooked right because if you over cook them they are tough like an old work boot. Robbie cooks them on the grill with this sauce that he makes, yum! They are really good.