Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Bloody, Hamburgers, & Tampons

So I have been trying all night to come up with something for my post tomorrow. Nothing was coming to me and I was really starting to worry!

Then it happened, but I have to take you back just a few minutes to how it started.

My mom and sister came over for dinner tonight and brought some awesome pizza from the shop around the corner. So when Dave got home a little while ago he asked if there was a plate for him to eat. See I usually fix him a plate of whatever it is the kids and I ate for dinner. Tonight however there wasn't one because we ate the entire pizza.

Being the awesome, lovely wife that I am I offered to make him a couple of hamburgers. I always keep a bag of the frozen patties on hand for Dave to eat as lunches or sometimes dinner when he doesn't have a plate because he can make them himself.

So I put a couple of Hamburgers in the skillet and after the first side browned I flipped them over to let the other side cook. While they were cooking Dave and I were talking about some things going on at his work so I was paying attention to how long the burgers had been cooking. Both sides appeared to be done, actually a little more done than Dave normally likes them so I fixed the buns and took the burgers out of the skillet. Dave was in his office working on his homework by this time so I took his plate into him and I came into the living room.

The next thing I know the the office door is flying open and Dave is yelling something about how the burgers aren't cooked. I of course am completely confused so I get up to see what is going on. As I walk into the kitchen Dave holds up a blood soaked bun and says to me.

** Now would be a really good time to eat anything you have in front of you, and/or swallow your drink.**

Ok ready? He said;

"These burgers aren't even cooked. I bit into one and blood came guessing out of it. It was like squeezing a bloody tampon!"

That's my husband ladies and he's all mine. I know you are so jealous but I'm sure you will find some way to move on.


Tiffany McCallen said...

My retort would have included something about real men liking their steak/burgers medium rare. :) Oh Dave, that was a doozy!

JWilson said...

Oh Dave does like medium rare but the bun this burger was on was as red as our buckeys jerseys and it was dripping so this wasn't even cooked. :))

Tabi said...

lol...laughing so hard!! Love it! Gross but funny!!

Candid Carrie said...

It was funny.

But then you left a comment about red as a buckeyes jersey. Now that is just sick. Sick sick sick how you actually do bleed scarlet.

Sickly funny gross. Aunt Pat would be ashamed and proud of you right now.

JWilson said...

Carrie you are the only one that would make that connection and I love you for it.

Aunt Pat would be so proud of me! :))

Mom to 3 Monkeys said...

Gag. Where does he come up with things like that?! That's pretty funny I think I would have laughed but that's a graphic descripion. LOL.

Kelly said...

Oh, the imagery!!! Double-yuck, Dave!!

Insane Mama said...

HAHAHA Gross! I love the comparison though. May I ask how he knows what its like to squeeze a bloody tampon?