Holey Moley

I've shared with all of you a few times that my dad died when I was 5 but I don't think I have shared how he died.

In the early 80's my dad was diagnosed with Skin Cancer, Melanoma to be specific. The cancer started with a mole on his back so by the time he knew something was wrong with the mole and went to the doctor the cancer had already spread. Top that with their limited knowledge on this form of Cancer and it wasn't good for him.

My mother was always very careful with us as kids and made sure we did not step a single foot out the door without sunblock on. I am very grateful to her for doing this because since my dad died they have learned a great deal about Skin Cancer including the fact that the majority of people who get skin cancer get it because of a sunburn they received as a child. This doesn't mean that's the only way you can get skin cancer.

About two weeks ago I noticed a tiny little bump under my right eye. The first couple of days I thought it was a pimple but it wasn't coming to head just getting bigger. I finally examined it really close and realized it was the mole under my eye that used to be completely flat. Over the last two weeks it has grown allot which has been really scary for me. At first I was too scared to call the doctors office and set an appointment but I finally did it.

Yesterday afternoon I had that appointment and the doctor wants to do a biopsy on my mole. My doctor told me not worry and that it probably isn't anything but with the location and how quickly it has changed in size she is concerned by it. So I go back on Friday afternoon to have my biopsy and I am scared out of my mind. My doctor says the procedure should be easy as long as there are no nerves underneath the mole. If there are no nerves they will take the whole thing off and send it to the lad. If there is a nerve to close they will only be able to take a portion off to send to the lab and then I would have to go to a specialist to have the rest of it removed. She also said that I will have a few stitches and it will leave a very tiny scare. The kicker here is once they take the mole off and send it to the lab I will have to wait a week or two to get the results back. Can you say torture, I am already a mess and I have to wait two more weeks!

I was hoping to go into the doctors today and have her tell me just by looking at it that it was no big deal no way could that be cancer but she didn't say that. What she said to me was it probably wasn't anything. I also noticed that for the rest of my check-up while we discussed some other things she kept looking at it more. At one point after she had finished checking my breathing she got real close and was toughing but she didn't say anything and I was to much of a chicken to ask any questions.

As I m sitting here typing this I am on the verge of tears. I can't even begin to explain how scared I am right now. I remember watching everything my dad went through and I don't want that. I don't want to have Cancer!

I am going to try not to talk about this much until I have the results back. I promise as soon as I know I will post something on here. I just needed to get all of this out so thank you all for listening to me ramble a little today.