Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Biological Father: Chapter 5

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Over the next hour I had so many of my questions answered and then some. Mike was most defiantly my biological father. My Aunt was very surprised to hear that my mom had told Steph about Mike since my mom had sworn everyone to never talk about him especially to us.

My mom was married to Mike at the age of 19, my Aunt was the Maid of Honor, her oldest son was the ring bearer and they were married in the church I grew up in. After the wedding they moved to Wooster Ohio which is near where Mike’s family lived and where my mom was going to college. Both of them were young and not ready to be married so this lead to a lot of arguments and fights. My Aunt didn’t know for sure if Mike was really emotional abusive but she said if she had to guess it was more of a mutual thing between him and my mom and that she did not think he was a bad guy.
My Aunt was not sure why my mom decided to leave him after she found out she was pregnant with me, all my mom would ever tell her is that he wasn’t a good man and she wouldn’t let him have anything to do with me. She threatened my Aunt, Grandma, and Grandpa to never tell him or the courts about me. See in Ohio the court system will not allow you to get a divorce if you are pregnant even if you can prove the father of the baby is not the husband, it’s a little messed up. So my mom had to act quickly so that no one would be able to tell she was pregnant. During the divorce process my mom found my dad who happened to be one of her ex boyfriends from High School and they hit it off eventually getting married a few years later. Another two years later and my dad adopted me. Remember that trip to the Court House that was my adoption hearing.

Apparently around the age of 8 I met Mike my while visiting my Aunt who was living in Northwest Ohio. She and I had gone to the mall and Mike and his wife were there. Mike spotted my Aunt and came up to speak to her. She said she was so unbelievably nervous and didn’t know what to say. She was afraid he would take one look at me and figure out I was his so when she introduced me she just said I was her niece but didn’t mention which sibling of hers I came from. He didn’t ask any questions or seem to notice some similar features in me.

At this point in the conversation my Aunt tells me that she saved some pictures of him without my mom knowing just in case I figured things out one day. She asked if I wanted to see them, which of course I did. I don’t think I can thank her enough for doing this for me. While the pictures are old and not that great I can still tell that my big ears and mine and my daughters beautiful natural curls were inherited from him. She also shared with me his last name that I will not use in this for his privacy, but I will tell you that Jurden was a much better maiden name. The last bit of information my Aunt shared with me was that the only people that did not know the truth were my siblings and me.

8 comments:

Tiffany McCallen said...

What a range of emotions that surely flooded your mind and heart as all this happened! It's an amazing story...

Therese said...

What an amazing story! I will be back for more!

Thanks for stopping by!

Mom to 3 Monkeys said...

Wow! It is truly a great story. This was only a year ago right? That the last part took place? I am curious to see what you did with this information and how you felt about it all.

JWilson said...

MT3M: Yes this chapter took place a little over a year ago.

Apple Joos said...

I just want to say that I am very impressed that you managed to keep all of this in and be so calm about it. I think I would have started a war if I found out my family kept such a huge lie from me. This actually happened to my cousin a while back. She had her blood type taken and it was 0 when both of her parents are not 0. She had a lot of questions and to this day still doesn't have a solid answer.

JWilson said...

I don't blame my family for keeping this information from me. It wasn't there place to tell me and when I finally asked they answered without lying. I actually feel bad for them because my mother put them in that position.

I hope your cousin finds her answers one day, it's not an easy thing to deal with.

Insane Mama said...

I'm with Apple, I can't believe you kept all this in.
Incredible really.

Kelly said...

OMG! EVERYONE else in the family knew?! Can't wait to hear the end...I hope it ends well (for your sake!)